Corelie
Dec 15 2008, 07:40 PM
Yay!
I did it.
Finally I’m finished with the translation of my FFversusXIII-Fanfiction, lol >-<.
Now I want to share it with you ^-^.
Notes: English isn’t my native language ._. …’
Well, I hope that everyone can understand what I’m trying to say. It was pretty hard to translate all the metaphors.
I = Noctis XD
_____________________________________
Silence of the destiny
I’ve always felt that it would end like this.
Just for a really short moment my empty inner part felt like there was something in my life that was worth dying for.
But feelings can lie - or the society trys to hide it.
I lived in the eternal night of my heart and could never hope for deliverance through the light.
The only thing that I saw was a star inside of me.
But what can you do if the star disappears and deep inside of you the wound of betrayal is left?
We were enemies.
I looked in her face and didn’t dare to attack her – I didn’t want to and I couldn’t.
The darkness of the night wrapped us both, but she was the one who was still glowing.
Slowly she walked past me and I couldn't do anything but starring at her.
I wouldn't kill her - I couldn't even hurt her.
“We were made to kill each other”, said Stella in a clear voice.
“I know”, I whispered back and didn’t stir from the spot.
She stopped in front of me and I could see in her eyes, that she was thinking.
“But I know that I will never be strong enough to kill you”, she murmured and looked down. “But how much I wish it for me, something in deep inside me doesn’t want to do it.”
I knew that feeling.
It was this indefinable feeling which spread constantly inside of me if I try to raise my weapon against her.
I wanted to say something, but my lips didn’t move.
For a while we stood face to face – were silent, while the feeling in our inner part was eating up our souls.
I could feel a wave of despair overflying me and my mind turning into the lust of yearning.
There wasn’t one manageable thought in me, only the arbitrarily act.
I raised my hand carefully and put it softly on her cheek.
She looked at me with an unsearchable vision and her lips trembled a little bit.
“We are enemies”, she murmured quietly and I knew that she was right.
But it in this situation it was easy to attract the mind not on the past.
“I can’t hurt you, Stella”, I murmured. “It means nothing to me that we are enemies. What kind of role plays that, if everything in you is reluctant to do that and you don’t want to disavow the facts?”
“It…It does play a role. Aren’t you supposed to follow your own destiny?”
There wasn’t any destiny.
At least not one which concerned us – I knew that.
How could the destiny be so cruel for there wasn’t any other option?
There were always just contradictions – nothing true and nothing complete.
Humans always wanted to do what they saw – but never that, what they felt.
Is this the reason why everything in the world is constantly wrong?
“Who had burden us all that up? Destiny or humanity?”, I asked her seriously and looked deep in her shining eyes.
She tried to believe me – I saw it in her eyes – but something restrained her.
“There’s much ill in this world – but most people are too weak to defend themselves against it”, she finally murmured.
“Than be strong.”
“But can I really be that…?”
She raised one hand and put it softly on my cheek.
I jerked under her touch, but I didn’t shy away from her.
“What are we fighting for? For other’s ideals or for that, what our heart tells us?”
“My heart wouldn’t like to be somewhere you aren’t.”
I kept silent and looked in her face.
It pacified me deeply and the mortal danger we were in was insignificant.
“We won’t be alone much longer”, Stella whispered quietly. She squeezed her face on my neck and it seemed to me that I heard almost soundless sobs.
I laid my arm consoling around her and stared into the darkness.
“There’s nobody who can hurt us.”
“You don’t understand it. It’s all…an intrigue.”
She looked to me up again, looked at me in a rueful way and bit on her lips.
“What would you do, if the enemy is nearer than you think…?”
“Stella, what are you doing? Didn’t you want to kill him?”
The voice sounded familiar to me, but I couldn’t recognize it.
Stella disengaged herself from my arm and reeled several steps back.
“You don’t want to kill me”, I said determinedly and gazed at her.
“No, I don’t.”
“What are you waiting for? Isn’t this what you have wanted?”
She slightly shook her head but I saw her rapier appearing and finally she abandoned me.
“Don’t hesitate. Do it!”
A bare impulse of myself made me evoke my weapon, but I wasn’t intending to make any use of it.
“I don’t want this!” ,Stella cried, but the voice didn’t answer.
And once again we stood face to face with each other as enemies, with drawn weapons, but noone of us wanted to move.
“What’s making you compete with me? Your conscience?”, I whispered.
“It’s not your fault. At least not really.”
I looked at her confusedly and she returned my uncomprehending look.
“I don’t know what I’m doing, neither what I’m thinking. The only thing I know is that it’s going to happen.”
I saw how a figure stood out against the darkness and positioned itself close, almost unrecognizable, behind Stella.
„Are you the culprit, for everything what had happened lately?“, I called and the person sparkled furiously.
„And if it were so? People are easy to use for own purposes. Everyone is selfish – they wish themselves power and revenge but do not notice that they destroy more than the wound in their inside heals again. And at the end only grief remains.“
„I don’t know what I want. I don’t want to hurt you - but my mind says something else.“
Stella came closer to me again with a serious look and I just looked at her.
„If you want to kill me, then do it."
„I am not able to do this.“
„When you are not able to do it, then you are worthless.“
It went too fast, as that I would have got something.
All at once she lay in my arms - bloody, weak and cold.
Her body trembled and her look rested on my face.
„I can not kill you“, she whispered in an almost suffocated voice. „I would never be able to. I love you since I have seen you the first time.“
Was it the humans’ nature to protect what was important for them?
But what to do if you lost your sense?
Was it the almost lifeless body in my arms which extinguished all feelings in me and did only make place for the desperation and hate?
I laid a hand softly on her wound and looked at her very horrified.
„You may not die!“
„Then there will be peace again“, she whispered weakly.
„Stop talking like that! It doesn’t bring anybody anything…”
“… It is too late “, she interrupted me. „I had a choice and used it wrongly. Instead of listening to my heart I fell for the temptation and destroyed everything. “
My fingertips glided softly about her tender cheeks and my look rested on her passing face.
„I have always loved you. Quite all the same whether we were enemies from the outset or not “, I whispered.
Quite easily I saw that she smiled.
„Thanks“, she whispered before her eyes closed.
I knew that the grief of the loss was a mighty weapon.
However, how much, became only conscious by me when I had lost my light at night and there was no hope left for me.
Probably this was the reason why I didn’t feel the wound in my body which lay far from my heart and my soul.
I took only steady dwindling of my strength dazedly while I lent my pain to expression with the last strength.
There have always been only contradictions in his decisions which can only hard be agreed with the heart.
However, one even feels this when it was too late for everything.
Even if one recognized that it was past.
And in the end the destiny, which accepts in rest the play of the humanity, finds redemption.
“The rest is silence” – Hamlet, 5. Act, Shakespeare
I did it.
Finally I’m finished with the translation of my FFversusXIII-Fanfiction, lol >-<.
Now I want to share it with you ^-^.
Notes: English isn’t my native language ._. …’
Well, I hope that everyone can understand what I’m trying to say. It was pretty hard to translate all the metaphors.
I = Noctis XD
_____________________________________
Silence of the destiny
I’ve always felt that it would end like this.
Just for a really short moment my empty inner part felt like there was something in my life that was worth dying for.
But feelings can lie - or the society trys to hide it.
I lived in the eternal night of my heart and could never hope for deliverance through the light.
The only thing that I saw was a star inside of me.
But what can you do if the star disappears and deep inside of you the wound of betrayal is left?
We were enemies.
I looked in her face and didn’t dare to attack her – I didn’t want to and I couldn’t.
The darkness of the night wrapped us both, but she was the one who was still glowing.
Slowly she walked past me and I couldn't do anything but starring at her.
I wouldn't kill her - I couldn't even hurt her.
“We were made to kill each other”, said Stella in a clear voice.
“I know”, I whispered back and didn’t stir from the spot.
She stopped in front of me and I could see in her eyes, that she was thinking.
“But I know that I will never be strong enough to kill you”, she murmured and looked down. “But how much I wish it for me, something in deep inside me doesn’t want to do it.”
I knew that feeling.
It was this indefinable feeling which spread constantly inside of me if I try to raise my weapon against her.
I wanted to say something, but my lips didn’t move.
For a while we stood face to face – were silent, while the feeling in our inner part was eating up our souls.
I could feel a wave of despair overflying me and my mind turning into the lust of yearning.
There wasn’t one manageable thought in me, only the arbitrarily act.
I raised my hand carefully and put it softly on her cheek.
She looked at me with an unsearchable vision and her lips trembled a little bit.
“We are enemies”, she murmured quietly and I knew that she was right.
But it in this situation it was easy to attract the mind not on the past.
“I can’t hurt you, Stella”, I murmured. “It means nothing to me that we are enemies. What kind of role plays that, if everything in you is reluctant to do that and you don’t want to disavow the facts?”
“It…It does play a role. Aren’t you supposed to follow your own destiny?”
There wasn’t any destiny.
At least not one which concerned us – I knew that.
How could the destiny be so cruel for there wasn’t any other option?
There were always just contradictions – nothing true and nothing complete.
Humans always wanted to do what they saw – but never that, what they felt.
Is this the reason why everything in the world is constantly wrong?
“Who had burden us all that up? Destiny or humanity?”, I asked her seriously and looked deep in her shining eyes.
She tried to believe me – I saw it in her eyes – but something restrained her.
“There’s much ill in this world – but most people are too weak to defend themselves against it”, she finally murmured.
“Than be strong.”
“But can I really be that…?”
She raised one hand and put it softly on my cheek.
I jerked under her touch, but I didn’t shy away from her.
“What are we fighting for? For other’s ideals or for that, what our heart tells us?”
“My heart wouldn’t like to be somewhere you aren’t.”
I kept silent and looked in her face.
It pacified me deeply and the mortal danger we were in was insignificant.
“We won’t be alone much longer”, Stella whispered quietly. She squeezed her face on my neck and it seemed to me that I heard almost soundless sobs.
I laid my arm consoling around her and stared into the darkness.
“There’s nobody who can hurt us.”
“You don’t understand it. It’s all…an intrigue.”
She looked to me up again, looked at me in a rueful way and bit on her lips.
“What would you do, if the enemy is nearer than you think…?”
“Stella, what are you doing? Didn’t you want to kill him?”
The voice sounded familiar to me, but I couldn’t recognize it.
Stella disengaged herself from my arm and reeled several steps back.
“You don’t want to kill me”, I said determinedly and gazed at her.
“No, I don’t.”
“What are you waiting for? Isn’t this what you have wanted?”
She slightly shook her head but I saw her rapier appearing and finally she abandoned me.
“Don’t hesitate. Do it!”
A bare impulse of myself made me evoke my weapon, but I wasn’t intending to make any use of it.
“I don’t want this!” ,Stella cried, but the voice didn’t answer.
And once again we stood face to face with each other as enemies, with drawn weapons, but noone of us wanted to move.
“What’s making you compete with me? Your conscience?”, I whispered.
“It’s not your fault. At least not really.”
I looked at her confusedly and she returned my uncomprehending look.
“I don’t know what I’m doing, neither what I’m thinking. The only thing I know is that it’s going to happen.”
I saw how a figure stood out against the darkness and positioned itself close, almost unrecognizable, behind Stella.
„Are you the culprit, for everything what had happened lately?“, I called and the person sparkled furiously.
„And if it were so? People are easy to use for own purposes. Everyone is selfish – they wish themselves power and revenge but do not notice that they destroy more than the wound in their inside heals again. And at the end only grief remains.“
„I don’t know what I want. I don’t want to hurt you - but my mind says something else.“
Stella came closer to me again with a serious look and I just looked at her.
„If you want to kill me, then do it."
„I am not able to do this.“
„When you are not able to do it, then you are worthless.“
It went too fast, as that I would have got something.
All at once she lay in my arms - bloody, weak and cold.
Her body trembled and her look rested on my face.
„I can not kill you“, she whispered in an almost suffocated voice. „I would never be able to. I love you since I have seen you the first time.“
Was it the humans’ nature to protect what was important for them?
But what to do if you lost your sense?
Was it the almost lifeless body in my arms which extinguished all feelings in me and did only make place for the desperation and hate?
I laid a hand softly on her wound and looked at her very horrified.
„You may not die!“
„Then there will be peace again“, she whispered weakly.
„Stop talking like that! It doesn’t bring anybody anything…”
“… It is too late “, she interrupted me. „I had a choice and used it wrongly. Instead of listening to my heart I fell for the temptation and destroyed everything. “
My fingertips glided softly about her tender cheeks and my look rested on her passing face.
„I have always loved you. Quite all the same whether we were enemies from the outset or not “, I whispered.
Quite easily I saw that she smiled.
„Thanks“, she whispered before her eyes closed.
I knew that the grief of the loss was a mighty weapon.
However, how much, became only conscious by me when I had lost my light at night and there was no hope left for me.
Probably this was the reason why I didn’t feel the wound in my body which lay far from my heart and my soul.
I took only steady dwindling of my strength dazedly while I lent my pain to expression with the last strength.
There have always been only contradictions in his decisions which can only hard be agreed with the heart.
However, one even feels this when it was too late for everything.
Even if one recognized that it was past.
And in the end the destiny, which accepts in rest the play of the humanity, finds redemption.
“The rest is silence” – Hamlet, 5. Act, Shakespeare