Defining the American

[Sundance Kid]

Defining the Americans

We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car.

We whip the enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs.

We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won't buy a car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour.

Americans get scared to death if we vote a billion dollars for education, then are unconcerned when we find out we are spending three billion dollars a year for cigarettes.

We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but don't know half the words in the "Star Spangled Banner".

We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.

We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild.

We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm.

In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when we are out at the game, the mall or on the lake, we talk about business.

We are the only people in the world who will pay $.50 to park our car while eating a $.25 sandwhich.

We're the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world and more diets to keep us from eating it.

We run from morning to night trying to keep our earning power up with our yearning power.

We're supposed to be the most civilized Christian nation on earth, but we still can't deliver payrolls without an armored car.

We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world and still have more divorces.

[aldo]

http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj234/twilitwings/1189642284.jpg

[Lucrecia]

All of these are perfect reasons to hate America. :cookie:

[Whiplash]

http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj234/twilitwings/1189642284.jpg

Cover it in batter and I'll take 10.

[deceptacon]

Cover it in batter and I'll take 10.

that is my life motto

[S-r-ex]

Americans have so many supersmart people doing neat experiments and stuff, yet so many can't name a country that begins with a U (Utah, Yugoslavia), tell what the UK currency is named (queen elizabeth money?), tell how many sides there is in a triangle (damn...four?), raise children properly (they're controlling the house!), and thinks a snow shoveling boy accidentically hitting his sister with the snow his fun enough to win 10k bucks AFV...

That's called "uneven intelligence distribution"...

EDIT: Americans have lenghty TV commercials about "revolutionary" products that are either lies about garbage or two decades old, and they waste their money without noticing the obvious truth (note how the before/after people are sad like hell in before and smiling like crap in after)

[Nagase]

We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild.

Not true, I have a son and he's tied to a post in my basement. I only let him off for walks and food, but I'm from the UK so I can't really say much.

Why don't you try "Defining the somalian" and see which one you prefer then? ;D

[aldo]

But it's fun to center your hate on America. :aldo:

[Nagase]

It's a love to hate kind of thing I think :cookie:

Quite funny to think though, that if an allied country got attacked, that you would all be screwed without America....Even England would struggle. :rolleyes:

[aldo]

We're in the same boat as others would say. :aldo: THOUGH VAINLY PRODUCED HATE IS ALWAYS FUN. :aldo:

[Devious]

Americans have so many supersmart people doing neat experiments and stuff, yet so many can't name a country that begins with a U (Utah, Yugoslavia), tell what the UK currency is named (queen elizabeth money?), tell how many sides there is in a triangle (damn...four?), raise children properly (they're controlling the house!), and thinks a snow shoveling boy accidentically hitting his sister with the snow his fun enough to win 10k bucks AFV...

That's called "uneven intelligence distribution"...

EDIT: Americans have lenghty TV commercials about "revolutionary" products that are either lies about garbage or two decades old, and they waste their money without noticing the obvious truth (note how the before/after people are sad like hell in before and smiling like crap in after)
WTF how can anyone not know how many sides there are to a triangle? Tetrahedron maybe...

[Whiplash]

YouTube - Chasers: Asking Americans what year was 9/11

[Exodus]

Defining the Americans

We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car.

We whip the enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs.

We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won't buy a car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour.

Americans get scared to death if we vote a billion dollars for education, then are unconcerned when we find out we are spending three billion dollars a year for cigarettes.

We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but don't know half the words in the "Star Spangled Banner".

We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.

We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild.

We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm.

In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when we are out at the game, the mall or on the lake, we talk about business.

We are the only people in the world who will pay $.50 to park our car while eating a $.25 sandwhich.

We're the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world and more diets to keep us from eating it.

We run from morning to night trying to keep our earning power up with our yearning power.

We're supposed to be the most civilized Christian nation on earth, but we still can't deliver payrolls without an armored car.

We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world and still have more divorces.

too long didnt read

Sides we all know hello kitty is what defines an american nobs

[Exodus]

http://republika.pl/blog_ql_507743/893450/tr/hello_kity.jpg

[Lucrecia]

YouTube - Chasers: Asking Americans what year was 9/11 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=5DwLzXcdyT4)

Oh my gosh. That's...just..sad.

[Sundance Kid]

YouTube - Chasers: Asking Americans what year was 9/11 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=5DwLzXcdyT4)
Gawd blehss Uhmerikuh....

[ZidaneFC]

YouTube - Chasers: Asking Americans what year was 9/11 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=5DwLzXcdyT4)

That almost made me ashamed to call myself American...

[Neal]

tickenz :aldo:

[aldo]

*sigh* Only in America. :aldo:
*turns into a million bats and flies away* :aldo:

[Exodus]

So in England, what do they teach you about the revolutionry war? Did they call us rebel bastards? Do the English want our blood? ;_;

[Whiplash]

Oh my gosh. That's...just..sad.

You should see the survey on Muslims.

Oh wait, YOU CAN! :cookie:
YouTube - Chaser Muslim Poll UNCUT


Okay, I only posted this for the pork spray bit; also available is shellfish spray for all anti-semites.

[S-r-ex]

That was in Nemo!
YouTube - Chaser's War - How Stupid Are Americans?

-How many sides is there in a triangle?
-Damn...four!
-None?...One?
YouTube - Chasers : War on Everything -Americans

[ZidaneFC]

Yeah...these have made all my arguments that America isn't stupid invalid.

[S-r-ex]

Yeah...these have made all my arguments that America isn't stupid invalid.

HA! In your face!

[ZidaneFC]

Upon reviewing the videos I have a new argument, "America isn't stupid, but New Yorkers are retarded." :cookie:

[xThexNewxPrincex]

Hey...come on.. Not everyone is like that.. If you're gonna show some of our worst, show some of our best, too ^_^

[Whiplash]

A chain is only as smart as it's dumbest link :cunning: (take that Descartes! Catchy phrases by you: 1, catchy phrases by Whiplash: 2)

But I think we're out of American clips so now let's humiliate other things, like modern art:

YouTube - Chasers War - Art Is Garbage


Or just plain ol' everyday Australians :)

YouTube - Chasers War - Scamming Things For Free On Wedding Day